Self-Defence on the Toilet

Today, as I still lay asleep, my dreaming mind decided to consider what today’s blog would be about. It considered several topics, which in the manner of dreams mingled and interwove. These resolved into two articles, both part-written as I travelled into work. All that was needed was to write them down and decide which was more suitable for a Friday blog. Regular readers will know that I often elect to make Friday’s blog a little different. Usually it is something humorous, and failing that something a little off-topic that may still entertain or provoke thought. I had decided to post the more off-topic of the two possible articles. Then I looked at my emails and a link a friend had sent me and I knew that I had Friday’s blog topic.

In Spider Robinson’s book “Callahan’s Crazy Crosstime Bar” an alien character is asked what he finds most remarkable about living on Earth. His answer, to the surprise of everyone else, is “bathrooms”. He then gives a long list of reasons for his statement. One point I recall is that he asks why people waste so much time running hot and cold taps to get the desired temperature when a cheap electronic addition could do this? I have discussed on this blog that we frequently use hot water in the bathroom when we do not need it.
Years ago the friend who sent me today’s link and myself got into a long discussion on illogical aspects of bathrooms. I seem to recall that one topic was the shape of toilet bowls. Why is the back of them gently sloped? If the rear part was more vertical, or even receding towards the bottom this part would be less prone to fouling. The horse-shoe shaped toilet seats used in some public institutions are more hygienic than the more common horse-collar shaped seats, being less prone to drips of urine from a seated user.
Friday blogs has semi-humorously mentioned the topic of self-defence in the bathroom. It is a place with just one way in or out in which you may be naked or partially dressed. Is it that outlandish to have some means of defence in that room against an intruder? I watched a movie the other week where the female protagonist survives and encounter with two psychopathic serial killers. Unlike most movies of this ilk, the heroine realizes one or both of these men may come after her and makes preparations. We see her moving around her home. There is a knife taped under the counter top, a stout stick in the umbrella stand and in her shower is a screwdriver in the cup with her toothbrush.
Possibly the most interesting point in the “Poop like a Samurai” article is how the master also considered this posture to be better for evacuation. I have yet to try it but it did remind me of the works of Alexander Kira. Kira was an advocate of the modified squat position. There are various companies and individuals that will sell you gizmos to make your toilet more like squatting over a hole, but these are not really necessary. Just rest your toes on the floor and lean forward so your elbows are on your knees.(middle right, below) It really does make things easier.